A Colder Place To Lie
by ModestDragon
Summary: Since their touch with the unnatural- and a hidden truth has been brought to light- a rift has grown between Hiccup and Toothless. For the first time, Hiccup is forced to doubt his best friend. Nothing feels the same. What they don't understand is that something is growing within them, and it has a plan. The journey ahead will prove how deep blood runs for the duo.


**PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING FIRST**

A/N: Welcome to something weird! Let me preface this with the fact that you should read the prologue story to this before you continue with this one- "_Our Gold Rush"_. Find it on my profile. Thank you.

Anyway, I have ideas for this story that's hopefully different enough to prove interesting. It might serve into darker territory and tone, because I like that sort of thing. We'll see if I have the brains for it. Please enjoy.

*SET BETWEEN HTTYD 1 AND 2. NEITHER OF THE CARTOON SERIES ARE RECOGNIZED WITHIN THIS STORY*

* * *

**Chapter 1: A Falter**

He looked down at his raw left thumb, and it offered no explanation. It flared back at him in a obnoxious grievance he was familiar with, singing him with every grip of his hand. In particular, it was the skin between his thumb and just below his index finger that plagued him. It was blotched red, and there was one lively blister at the center of it all.

It scared him because he didn't burn himself. He didn't know where it came from.

He felt so lost and decided to grind his teeth against the shrill, hot tenderness. He grinded his brain against the density of last week's events. There was no memory of his injury until this morning, only a long blurry stream of routine clouding his head. The story behind his hand became a wordless abstraction that only could be interpreted as the conviction of instability of him.

Maybe he was getting sick.

He heard another pencil hit the table with a smack and looked up ahead, forgetting.

They were all done.

They all looked to him expectantly and made fidgety glances toward the door. The chamber was lit with candles, and the stone walls had soaked in the heat of their bodies and the hearth so that they were comfortably warm now. The softened day-rays drifted through the small, barred opening.

_It's time to wrap this up. Find that delirious energy you've been running on again, tough guy._

Hiccup sighed. Then he announced with said energy, "Alright! We gotta make this quick, _Boogers-Crusts_. You're teacher has plans for tonight and you've been distracting me long enough. You're gonna repeat after me, okay? D-"

Hiccup was cut off by one of his most promising pupils. She was pudgy and rosy, and also one of the sharpest kids he'd ever met. At six years old, she was cheekier than a aggravated frog.

"You've got a girl to smooch tonight, Master Hiccup?" she sneered at him.

The dozen of tots sitting before him snickered wickedly. The table was long and narrow, and he could even hear the giggling from Shy Eeza at the other end.

Everyone was apparently having too much fun today, and they wanted to gang up on him again. Maybe thinking he was vulnerable. Hiccup smiled, accepting one more challenge.

"What is it, Stonie, still afraid of _cooties_?" He made a face at her in mock revulsion and leaned against the table.

"Pretty Astrid doesn't have cooties! Only you do!" She followed this with sticking her tongue out at him, making a silly sound. The density of the air itself inside this tiny room seemed to ripple. Excitement blasted through the atmosphere, and the hearthfire and candles strewn throughout quivered.

This always preceded the chaos.

They began trickling in. The budding voices ping-ponged over their filled notebooks.

"Yeah! Astrid is a _lady_. Duh."

"My mom told me that a freckle is just one _big_ cootie."

"Ew, they kiss."

"I thought cooties were only on my dirty underwear?"

"No, dummy! They are just all over boys all the time. They are all on you and inside you, 'specially you!"

"The dragons only like you cause you smell stinky like them!" there was a finger back at Hiccup.

"I bet it's cause you're covered with their slobber all the time!"

"Gross."

"You should just make-out with a dragon instead!"

The kids cheered in agreement.

Hiccup scanned the table they sat around in lidded amusement. They looked at him eagerly.

They were daring him to make his move. They loved to antagonize Hiccup because they had learned that Hiccup always knew what just what to say to a rabid gang of punks. His lack of intimidating stature kind of welcomed it too.

He was equally silly and respected among their circle. That's why they waited for his riposte.

"Well, guess what weirdos." Hiccup declared, "Think about it- you're in _my_ classroom. This is my domain and those are my apples I _graciously _offered you, thank you very much, and those are _my_ chairs you've hunkered in! That means that everything in here has my cooties already, and you're even _sitting in them_."

Hiccup dropped the charcoal pencil and leaned over to Hairbrain, who was seated next to him, wiggling his tainted fingers in his face.

All the children squealed in disgust and laughter, scrambling from their seats.

Hiccup clapped his hands, wincing in foolish pain. "Okay, alright, enough-enough, let's all get back to our seats and calm down. Yes, yes, thank you- thank you for picking that up, Gizzard. Y'all are too much today. Yes, _good _Boogers. Now, repeat after me!"

He put on his sing-song voice, pointing to the parchment on the board behind him, "_Never pull a dragon's tail unless you want to be sent to sail!_"

They chanted along happily- a passionately awful choir, "_Never pull a dragon's tail unless you want to be sent to sail!"_

"And what about messing with their fish?"

"_If you do, you'll be their next dish!_" they giggled giddily.

"Be careful!" Hiccup pressed, "That's not a joke."

This emphasis didn't even reach ears before it was swatted aside.

"Why do Gronckles eat rocks?" Beatrice The Boy suddenly blurted out.

Hiccup usually answered random questions at the end of class. And so, the kids weren't skipping a beat today.

This was Hiccup's favorite part of the day because it was _pure_ curiosity, which was a beautiful thing. It could go on for hours, but he would answer only a few this time.

Hiccup answered, "We talked about that already. I'm not entirely positive, but I know it helps with their digestion. I guess I should ask one now, huh?"

Hairbrain shot up his hand and didn't wait to speak, "Aye! Can ye' ask the 'Terrors why they love coins n' things?"

"The Terrible Terrors aren't… smart enough to really talk. I think that's why they like shiny stuff and try to hoard it. They're simple, like a dog. Don't threaten that hoard yourself, alright?" Hiccup glared seriously and knocked his leg, "We don't have finger prosthetics."

"It hurts 'lots to lose a leg, huh Master Hiccup?" Josie asked, looking proud of such a profound understanding.

"Uh, yeah. I would say so," he said with a smirk.

"The terrors like me because I smell like fish, huh?" Asked Mug, who was always seated at the far side of the table.

"...Correct! Good! Don't ever forget those things, students. Now, I'm sorry to say that we are cutting class right here. I'm very busy. Run along! I'll free you." he shooed them all towards the door, "And remember, I might have Master Fishlegs fill in for me at our very own _Booger-Crust's Troop _next time!"

A few moaned in protest. A few were already waiting anxiously by the door. "But why?!" Stonie asked.

Hiccup pulled the lever by the huge gate and the entire frame sprung out and up. They began leaving.

"Is Master Fishlegs gonna bring another baby Gronckle?" Eeva asked quietly.

"No. He's not allowed to do that again. It's too distracting." Eeva looked more deflated than normal at that, and left as well. "And because, I asked him to, little one. I have a few things I'm going to be occupied with. Don't worry, we'll be right back on for the next moon cycle. Yeah?"

It was a white lie. He had nothing planned in particular, but he would argue that he still needed the off time. Looking at his student made him guilty, though.

The pudgie lass huffed, before murmuring, "_Okay._ Bye, Master Hiccup."

The last few kids breezed out the door, echoing their own goodbyes behind them. Before Stonie could follow them out, Hiccup called out.

"Wait! I almost forgot."

Stonie stopped and turned back, looking worried.

Hiccup went for his pack on his small desk in the corner. It sat snug and next to all the various dragon diagrams Hiccup had drawn himself. He reached inside the small pocket on the front.

She waited patiently until Hiccup faced her again. His hand was closed into a fist and he offered it to her without a word. She didn't know what to expect, and the distress wrinkling her features smoothed into curiosity. She opened her palm to him.

He dropped a healthy, velvety, obsidian scale into her hand. It glimmered in the firelight. Her eyes lit up.

It was a perfect one. Absolutely unblemished and sturdy. It smelled sweet. The scale had fallen from his shoulder only a few nights ago.

"_Oh_! Yes! Is this Toothless'?!" she nearly squealed.

She'd been asking for ages about this. Hiccup could tell that he made her night.

"Yup." Hiccup smiled, "He usually wouldn't like someone having it, but he said he likes your bracelets, and wants you to make one out of that too. Think you can do it justice?"

Hiccup only said this because he knew it would make her feel really good. In reality, Toothless only grudgingly agreed, and he couldn't care less for most human cosmetics.

"Yes! I promise. I'll do my very best with it!" she stamped in place. Her eyes glowed with all the potential ideas she had had for it.

"If you want any cool rocks to help decorate it, I know Gothi will be happy to help. Just ask her."

"She's weird, but okay! Thank you Master Hiccup." She threw herself into a hug around the young man's middle.

He laughed and patted her head. Hiccup was quite fond of this one. She would be a great dragon rider one day. He could feel it.

After a moment, he untangled her arms and steered her from her shoulders to the cold wind as well. He was anxious to leave. "Alright, alright! Go on, go have some fun already! I've got another boring lesson to teach to someone not as bright."

"Wait!" she squealed. Her boots dug into the dirt, unbudging.

Hiccup huffed, dramatically rolling his eyes and as she turned back around.

"What is it, kid?"

Stonie made a desperate look straight into his eyes. The circles were big and pleading and intent, as if this method was her weapon.

She asked him for the countless time, "When are you gonna teach us to speak Dragonese too?"

Hiccup scratched his nose in slight annoyance. This question was incessant and his answer was the same every time. _Would it ever end?_ He knew better to even ask himself that, because he knew it wouldn't.

He had to be sympathetic. He would be the same way, if not worse.

He wished he wasn't weighted with yet another burden, but this one was once again life-changing, and he was indeed the only one on this new frontier of discovery. Yet again. And damn the gods if he didn't always hunger for that feeling. He loved it, and wasn't ashamed for it.

Nonetheless, he couldn't get too aggravated by this question today. Months ago, it was unquestionably the most exciting thing his people had learned- _we can talk to them?!-_ and the aggressive pestering quickly became stressful. This was the first time he heard the request today, and he was proud of the childrens' self control.

"I want to learn _so _bad." she said.

He frowned at her, but it was half-hearted. He crouched to her level.

"When I learn more myself!" he exclaimed, "You know that. I can't really teach something if I don't know it myself, right?" he closed her hand over the scale, "And I would need to teach the other Masters so they could help me first. I'm sorry."

She sighed, unsuccessful once again.

"...Can you at least remind me how to say 'thank you'?"

Hiccup couldn't help smiling. "Sure. Yes I can. They actually don't have a word for 'thank you' though. You just say 'appreciated'." Hiccup said, "Listen closely-"

Stonie did.

"_**Gur-et**_."

"_**Gur-et**_." she repeated. A perfect imitation.

Hiccup was impressed. These guttural sounds were very hard to wrestle with, at least for him? It sounded very juvenile from the little girl, like a bleating hatchling.

It made him excited for the day he could teach these lessons to the class. He wondered about all the interesting and ridiculous sounds he would hear.

He'd bet the dragons would get a kick out of this one.

Hiccup raised his brows, taken aback, "Wow. You're a natural. Now, get out of here!"

She was elated to hear that. He waved her away dramatically. She finally obliged with a wide grin on her face.

Hiccup watched her leave, making way to her friends that were waiting for her at the entrance of The Ring.

She delicately wrapped the scale in a cloth, and placed it in her bag before her friends could notice. She was pretty prudent about the scales she acquired, Hiccup noticed- especially when they were quality ones. He assumed she hid it because she didn't want her friend's grubby hands to get all over it.

The Stoneboar's lass was a quirky one. It reminded Hiccup of himself when he was just a small lad. Actually, he had the same habit of collecting scales from dragons when he was her age, so he found this personally endearing.

It was a hobby that infuriated his father to great ends. Little Hiccup would do his best to find the best ones after the dragon raids, every time for a while, even when his father told him to stay inside those dangerous mornings. He only stopped when his dad punished him for it.

Hiccup watched the students move through the gate, passing by Vaektor, the Nadder. The usual respects were paid.

Hiccup knew something more interesting would happen this time. So he stood and waited.

This dragon was their very own _Dragon guard _to the _Booger-Crusts_. He never failed to regard them, and they absolutely adored him. He'd been "officially" exalted to_ "Vaektor: the sworn Booger protector"_ once upon a time, and it really stuck.

That's what they let the kids believe. In reality, he was stationed at the peak beyond The Ring, and his shift coincidentally lined up with their classes. It was as simple as that.

Vaektor was one of many scouts, and he was charged with keeping watch for anything worth noting coming from the West. A loyal and vigilant Nadder, and he was aware of this hailing the kids labeled him with.

After the first misunderstanding, however, he just continued coming down around the time when their class were over, just to see them off. He liked to humor this notion. He seemed to be fond of the children's reaction to him every time.

They had a tradition now, and after the little humans had crossed the bridge, he would return to his duty without a word. No one minded.

The stragglers left the ring, all bowing to him as they passed. Vaektor held his own bow all the while, paying respect to the little warriors.

Stonie was the last. She bowed, and then glanced back up. Vaektor returned the look.

Hiccup could see that she repeated what she had just learned to the dragon eagerly. Vaektor absolutely gawked in response. It made Hiccup swell in a form of pride he'd never experienced before he began teaching children.

Vaektor gathered himself and proceeded to stand tall. He gave her a proper nod, visually proud. She grinned at him in, and then ran to catch up with her friends.

Vaektor saw Hiccup from across the way in the door frame. The Dragon Master made a salute in his direction, then ducked back in to quickly extinguish the candles and fire. He grabbed his things and threw his furs around his shoulders, locking up the gate behind him that was once the giant cell that imprisoned Meatlug, of which was now repurposed into a place of safety and learning for the youth.

Once it was secured, Hiccup rested his head against the cold steel, and sighed deeply.

He finally had a moment to himself.

_It had been a very long day, and it was going to be a very long night._

Truthfully, he just wanted to he alone. He ached for a silence he could empty his head in and rest for the remainder of the night, but that wasn't possible. He couldn't even leave the ring yet.

He had one more lesson tonight. Then, he had a dinner he promised to attend. His bed would find him only when the sun was long disappeared.

He'd excused himself out of too many things at this rate and needed to make an appearance this time. Sadly, he couldn't hide from the world forever.

However, the ring was finally empty, and he should have a while to just sit here if he was lucky.

The numbing metal strip against his forehead did well to soothe the headache that was pushing out behind his eyes. His luck kicked in nonetheless, and didn't get more than a few moments to enjoy it before he heard the voice of his next obligation call down to him.

"We're here early, lad! Got time to invite us in maybe?"

Hiccup groaned quietly. "No, I don't!" he said a little more indignantly for his taste.

_So much for cutting class short._

* * *

**_########_**

"We gonna do this without Toothless?"

"He doesn't need to be here for this one." Hiccup said.

"Do we _really_ hafta' do this?" the false-toothed man yelled down at him, "I mean, the beast can barely roll back over in the morn'! Y-ye' expecting him to make a flashy show of it around the circuit?"

Said beast made a response of characteristic lethargic grunts and chuffs. He lazily idled in the air, waiting for the command. The dragon had his human companion settled on his back, and he was indifferent to the customary bickering behind him, because the man was obviously anxious and expressing it through exasperation. This was all routine.

"Hm? What'd ye' say?!" he glared at the beast under him, then looked back to the young man supervising them, "What'd it blubber? I swear it to Odin, if he called me _fat _again..."

Hiccup shrugged with a smile. He'd do best not to tell Gobber exactly what his dragon said.

"Not really." Hiccup replied, "He said something like you are fortunate he can even carry you. So not really. And you know we aren't here to be 'flashy', Gobber. This circuit is just a little longer than normal."

Stoick was standing to Hiccup's right, and he let out a shameless guffaw. It echoed along the walls below in The Ring. They both stood on the high edge, near Stoick's old throne. The cage covering the ring was long removed, and the open air tucked unbridled around them. The furs wrapped around their frames did well to protect them against the chilling breeze.

Gobber became beet red, and Hiccup could see that he had to restrain himself from slapping the Hotburple's back, "Ye' callin' _me _fat? I could fit in one of your fat rolls!" he retaliated.

Grump made another grumble, looking at Hiccup with an expectant glimmer, and not acknowledging the calloused finger pointing at him. Hiccup couldn't resist laughing this time.

Gobber could only shoot daggers at his apprentice. He was frustrated, but resigned. He could only wait until Hiccup was done _laughing. _

Hiccup and Grump were making habit of making a game out of these little jabs that were going unheard, and his mentor had caught on soon enough. It all began with simple exchanges over the past months at the blacksmith as Hiccup became fluent enough in Dragonese to hold conversations, and like Hiccup had with almost every dragon in Berk now, had become well-acquainted with Grump. They all worked together often, then. It was so strange to hear such primal sounds coming from puny man so casually, but Gobber was impressed- intrigued, even at the boy's new skill. At first.

Before he knew it, Hiccup was telling Gobber things like _the dragon is much smarter… than he looks_, and _he's very funny!_. Gobber knew the former for a fact, but how could he really know beyond that?

Hiccup wasn't very hilarious himself, and his dragon was a creature of prey (even if a lazy one). How funny could he be?

Gobber would watch and listen to these dragon huffs and honks he never knew to have specific meaning before Hiccup had suddenly began to teach Toothless to speak_ Norse_ one night, and the boy learned that they weren't indeed only noises the dragons were making. He began watching the enthusiasm in each of their cadences and expressions when they would talk on-and-on while they the three of them worked in the forge about what he couldn't know, unless he asked. He couldn't help acknowledging his own childish irritation of being left out.

This was until he realized one day that they were talking about _him, _and they were _laughing_ at him. This made Gobber utterly outraged. He began demanding to know what certain words were. And once they got that reaction out of the mangy man, they began to do it on purpose too. It became a cold war when the three of them were together. It was torturous.

All entertainment aside, they knew it had to be very degrading for the prideful man. Still, neither of them were concerned about him getting sincerely offended. At the core of this triangle, Hiccup had a genuine intent to motivate Gobber to learn his dragon's language so he could defend himself, and Grump didn't have the ability like some other dragon species to form human words even though he understood them, so it was on Gobber to reciprocate. Inside, Gobber knew they were doing good by him, and he would honestly cherish learning to talk to his cheeky friend. He just wasn't sure if his old, dull mind could labor this task.

Since then, when Hiccup would be at the blacksmith his day of the week (it was all he had time for), he and Grump would interject their metalworking with small language lessons to Gobber. It was slow, but Gobber was trying. That's all that mattered.

"I only caught some. What'd he say?" Stoick asked his son eagerly. Stoick had been taking time out of his busy days to make an appearance for Gobber's weekly one-on-one sessions. He found it was, indeed, very entertaining as well.

Hiccup had to catch his breath. With pleasure, he translated to Gobber, "He said that you look like something he would pull out from his fat rolls."

Stoick had a booming laugh. It was one of those laughs you knew well as always infectious and elevating to the spirit, even if involuntarily. It would fill the room with light, warm air. Smiles would creep across faces, and people would toast to it in good spirits.

Hiccup loved the sound of his father's laugh because he still didn't feel he heard it enough. There were too many sighs filling the living room when he'd get home late for a quick meal, then went to bed. Even if it was at Gobber's expense, Hiccup was happy to provide this to him. It breathed new life into his presently exhausted body and mind.

This was all true for Gobber too, it was just that Gobber didn't understand why he was typically the butt-end of Stoick's jokes.

Hiccup and Stoick nearly cried at Grump's comment. Gobber was dangerously ripe for the picking now. He seethed quietly, and Grump made sure to peer back with affection.

"Don't give me the eyes, lummox! See if ye' git seconds tonight!" The dragon cooed in reply.

"Only more for ye'self then, aye Gobber?" Stoick bellowed, and slapped his knee. They both stood there, laughing some more. Hiccup was wheezing, which startled him. His father fell back to his old chair, howling to the setting sun.

Gobber growled, "Speak for ye'self, Vast! Don't you got somewhere to be, _chief_?" False venom coated his voice.

"I do! I should be in the Hall with a healthy mug a' mead, and yeh coming with me. So finish up."

Gobber anger faded into indignance, "I don't know why I stomp around with ye' swines. All you do is pick on me."

He deflated after that. Gingerly, Gobber leaned to the side and looked down. He quickly jerked back up into a tense position. With a forceful clearing of his throat, he said quietly, "I suppose I'll need one of those after this."

A silence extended for a few moments. They all waited for Gobber to gather himself.

"Okay." The man said.

Hiccup smiled. "He'll take care of you." He gestured to Grump.

Gobber stopped attempting to hide the anxiety after their first few flying sessions, but he couldn't help feeling humiliated by it. He scoffed at the comment, shaking his head. _He was a viking. He shouldn't be reassured by his nephew._

When Gobber looked up and met Grumps eyes, however, he knew it to be true. He held his anchored gaze, and breathed out.

Gobber nodded to Hiccup, then to Grump. Hiccup nodded back, and they ascended into the sky, disappearing around the peak.

They'd be back once the sun had fully set. Not long at all.

Hiccup sat down on the ledge, running his hands around his temples and hair. A girthy yawn left his mouth, and he stared down at his unmatched feet already lost in thought. After a few minutes, he looked back.

"Do you think he'll ever get over his fear?" He asked Stoick.

Stoick grunted as he considered this. It was a strangely long moment before he responded. He said, "I do not think so. He was limping on that leg long before it was sunkin' into."

Hiccup didn't know what he meant by that. He squinted his eyes in question.

His father huffed.

It was in a heavy tone Hiccup wasn't accustomed to. He straightened up, sensing he should prepare for something.

He continued, "Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you. Maybe it'll help. You'd do well to say nuthin' to him." he claimed seriously.

Another pause, "...When we were boys, there was a night where he screamed louder than I'd ever heard of 'em. So I snuck out. I was a very clever one, and I crawled into his window like we always had. He was shaking like almighty thunder in bed and told me his dear old dad had righted his bone back into place. It was right-fine just earlier that day, but it had been broken because his sire had pushed him down a cliff and into the rocky shore earlier while they were fishing."

Hiccup was speechless.

"The horrible thing was, is that I wasn't wholly surprised to hear this news. When he told me though, I had never seen such fear in his eyes before that. It was…"

Stoick brushed his fingers together, clutching something that was tangible, "like oil. His father was a wretched man, just like me own. He hates heights now. But Gob' is one of the strongest men I have ever met, he is. He will bear it, just like he always had to."

He wasn't prepared for such frankness. Hiccup stared at his dad as he smiled somberly, absorbing this. He turned back eventually, nodding in understanding.

Now it was plain why Gobber requested time with him personally (should he feel touched?). It was probably tougher than Hiccup could know for him to do this. Hiccup was a patient man though. A very patient man.

Three years ago, Stoick had sat upon the chair he did right now as he was spectating dragon-slaying events in the ample prison, and he would chant and roar and jump from it with passion at the bloodshed. Now, his own son forged alliances and the greatest warrior duos in the coliseum with the very prisoners they held inside it assisting them in this effort. Hiccup noted this as well, and remembered how Stoick told him, as the man was coping with these changes to their way of life, he allowed the throne to gather dust for more than a year after the revolution before he could even look at it. Hiccup was aware of this then, and he waited all that time.

Stoick was afraid of this seat and eventually disgusted by what it represented to him. When he finally sunk down into it again, it was the most humbling experience he had ever had, and he sat there watching his son train at the academy for the first time himself, in awe. Everything seemed to make sense when he did, he said.

Hiccup remembered that day very well. It changed them both, he thought. It was the day they both personally decided that everything they did had been for the good. That it was _truly_ for the good, and it was attainable. Stoick continued coming back on occasion.

Now, Hiccup reflected on that, heavy with another new confession from his father. This honestly wasn't something Stoick had the right to share, but he did anyway, because he trusted Hiccup with it.

Hiccup couldn't help but wonder why so people many felt comfortable confiding in him. He had many secrets he held strapped securely to his essence. So many found trust in him they couldn't find anywhere else. He held these conversations in a precious chamber he could never dream to violate, unless he wanted to only hurt himself.

He knew things about _Snotlout, Astrid, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, his father, Gobber, and even _Hookfang_. _And there were others.

He felt a lot of these secrets were peace offerings for the pain these individuals put Hiccup through when he was young. They wanted reconciliation, so they stripped the walls down and gave Hiccup a part of themselves that could shatter if not cared for. Hiccup understood this, and forgave them utterly. He cherished these relationships, because each of them knew it to be true. Friends were vulnerable for each other, and they were safe with one another. All of these secrets were safe with him.

Hiccup's guts coiled with this thought. A viscous slime churned. The dread consumed him again.

_Did he fuck it up, somewhere? _he thought. It was in his nature to blame himself, but he'd rather sever a finger before the blaming the other in particular. He supposed it was very different circumstances with them, but still.

A terrible voice poised a question.

_Was he not worth it?_

Hiccup heard Stoick rise from the throne and stride towards him before heavily settling next to him. Their feet hung swung over the pit.

Hiccup remembered doing this with his dad as a boy. Life was simple.

He still believed he was a viking then.

"Do you think I'll ever have a saddle of my own?" Stoick wondered.

Hiccup sighed. "It's more than that, Dad."

"Aye, I know! The devil is family, I know that. I'm just… wondering. What do you think?"

Toothless resented that nickname at first, but he was forced to accept it eventually, just like Hiccup had to accept his very own name. Stoick had a strange sort of affection, and he was more stubborn than the Night Fury himself.

Hiccup didn't know what to say. "I think… you're one of a kind." He smirked at his dad.

He grunted, shaking his head. He reached over and padded Hiccup's shoulder roughly. "I'll take et' as a compliment, lad. I shouldn't settle for less, hm?"

Hiccup knew it wasn't a matter of "settling" at all, and he was almost positive that his father was aware of this as well. If Stoick wanted to ride, he needed a dragon to accept him, through-and-through. It wasn't only an agreement- it was a bond. Hiccup could imagine his father being capable of this, however, no dragons had taken an interest in him other than the respect that was reserved for the human chieftain. The beasts vesselled enigmatic, tremendous spirits, and they were ultimately driven on keen instinct and extraordinary senses that humans lacked. These companionships between dragon riders weren't mandatory or even commonplace, but almost every time, it was the dragon that approached the human. And it went from there.

These creatures knew better than humans what was worthwhile and imperative to them. There were simple in conduct; intricate in design. They lived, and they survived, and everything else was in between. When it came to the in-between, they seemed to just _know, _immediately somehow, if the person they saw would be a good match for them, including humans. Humans would wrestle and suffer with the images of a good relationship and fulfillment and what was necessary for their life, forever, but when a dragon would express interest with you, it was like being floated down a harmonious river you couldn't fight. If the spark was there, they understood it before you, and the chemistry inside and out was without effort or real comprehension. It was a thing that just happened and life became better.

It became unadulterated love. It was miraculous and mind-bogglingly simple. You could never really understand it until it happened to you.

It was a gift.

Hiccup wondered if his friends felt the same way as them though. Is that what it was like for them, really?

"Just don't worry about it, dad. It'll happen naturally if it does."

"I've been thinking about it a bit lately, and it does seem so. I sorta envy ya. I'm just not sure I could handle another damned dragon in our hut. One is enough."

Hiccup chuckled quietly. He yawned again and leaned over himself, resting his eyes for a second.

"You look like shit, Hiccup." His father told him thickly.

_Serious mode, engage._

"Wow. That's nice, chief. Thanks." He didn't open his eyes. He was expecting to hear that from him, it was just a matter of waiting.

"I see you go to bed most nights, but you aren't sleeping?" He asked.

Hiccup couldn't help feeling uncomfortable. He still had a hard time understanding his father. He knew his question was coming for a tender place, never doubt, but he wasn't used to this anymore.

He touched the puffy bags under his eyes. It felt like a spoiled fruit.

"No. Not really." he admitted.

"I'm sorry to remind you, lad, but you have responsibility. You can't keep this up. I depend on you."

Hiccup sighed. "I know. I'm trying. I don't know why it's happening lately."

The young man could feel his chief studying him. He glanced up, catching his stare. He saw a glimpse of himself in there, and quickly looked away again. He didn't want him to worry, but his father could see into him better than he knew.

After a moment, Stoick stated, "You've been acting strangely since your trip. You _and_ the devil."

Hiccup's blood crystallized. He could feel himself get pale.

"You were determined when you left. Ye' came back without a word about it. _Hardly_ a sound, lad. And there was… something. In your eyes. I could tell."

A pocket of air densed in Hiccup's mouth. He gulped it down. His blood was rushing like a sudden hurricane in his ears and he was sure his dad could hear it too.

Stoick wouldn't relent with his look. Hiccup could feel it sizzling into his brow. Hiccup wished he could slip through the cracks of time and avoid this entire moment. The infinite seconds grated by before his dad asked, "Ye haven't gushed about it since, like ye usually do. You didn't find the dragon, I know, so are you sure nothing happened at all?"

A choke almost seized Hiccup's throat. With the utmost willpower, he smoothed out this feeling of agony inside him. His hand involuntarily rubbed at his mouth roughly. He put it back to his side.

_He did_. He did find that dragon, but he couldn't tell him. He couldn't tell him that it wasn't really a dragon under those scales, but it had been exactly what he was looking for. He couldn't tell him that he couldn't explain exactly what he had saw. He couldn't tell him about how it already knew Hiccup and Toothless when they arrived on the island and had watched them for days without making an appearance, and that it spoke Norse. He couldn't tell him that he found a stone and it planted a voice in his head that day and he swore it was magic. He couldn't tell anyone about the things it uttered to them both (and he couldn't speak on what he didn't hear himself)- how he couldn't let these words go and it setting fire to his heart and boiling his brain, because he felt _wisdom _in them. He couldn't tell him about the beam and the drawings everywhere and _the eyes_. The _fucking_ eyes. He couldn't tell him that it had haunted him every single night since. And that he couldn't feel quite right since. That it was impossible.

He couldn't tell him, or he would be a mad man. He couldn't tell anyone. He made a vow to never tell anyone about that morning.

Hiccup looked Stoick in the eyes. "We've... been acting strange?" He asked.

Stoick nodded.

"Well I don't know anything about that, honestly. Maybe he's just stressed."

Stoick remained expressionless, until he looked down. Hiccup could see defeat.

"Okay, son." he said, and stood up, "Gobber and Grump should be returning soon. We'll help you close up the ring and then you're off the hook."

Hiccup felt broken. His dad knew he was holding back. He couldn't do anything about it though, just like he couldn't everyday after his mom had disappeared.

Stoick helped Hiccup up, and his giant hand lingered on his shoulder. Hiccup could feel this. He was almost sure his dad was going to say something, and Hiccup wanted him to. But, he didn't.

The opportunity had passed now. His hand fell to his side and they took the long route around the ring.

* * *

_**########**_

Stoick and Gobber insisted to finish closing up The Ring themselves, and Hiccup gladly obliged. He hustled his way across the bridge, teasing at his hair. He had the silly hope that he didn't look too rough.

The hue of the sun quietly mingled with the black void, and the moon was full on the other side. The evening was in whole motion.

He was in a hurry to get to Astrid's. She and her parents were expecting him for dinner and he didn't want to have them wait too long. He'd already been caught up more than he expected tonight, and now there wasn't time to make a stop home. He should just go straight over there now.

After that, he could go home and... stare at the wall, he supposed. He could let his hollow shell dry up into an effigy of exhaustion.

Hiccup shouldered the night breeze, and wiped at his puffy face. He put the pads of his thumb and index and pressed down on the grey bags. It seemed to press an entire inch before he met the edges of his eye-sockets.

_Damn, you look like crap, Hiccup. No one can deny it anymore._

He had a habit of doing this when he was tired, ever since he was a boy. He'd rubbed at his face constantly.

He wished he could get away from these thoughts that were hunting him down, but he couldn't. It was a constant sprint towards the sun and he was running from his shadow.

He wondered how long he could last like this.

He wondered how they even had until this point.

He wondered if he would ever have the courage to communicate again.

Hiccup had another bout of sadness bury his lungs under the weight.

This feeling was entirely new as of the return from the trip. He still didn't know if he'd ever learn to cope with it. It was incapacitating.

Small, shorts breathes escaped him. He couldn't control it. His nerves crackled and it became his only mode of living.

He closed his eyes and crushed the palms of his hands to his aching temples now, trying to will away the excitement that suddenly plagued his being. He was _so tired_ of this.

He was having another "attack". That's what Gothi had called it.

This had never been a consistent problem until he'd seen that beast. Although, Hiccup knew that thing wasn't to blame for this.

Only his best friend could do this to him. Only his dragon could affect his this way.

His feet had carried him for a while before he was conscious of anything outside of himself. His vision was inward, staring into a maze where every path ended in a dead-end.

"Hey," Hiccup heard a voice directly in front of him.

Hiccup jerked his head up, startled.

It was Toothless. It tortured Hiccup to know he dreaded this fact.

The dragon stared at him quizzically. He seemed amused.

"Oh! Hi. Bud," Hiccup said. He wiped at his face again.

He snorted, "Are you walking with your eyes closed? You almost bumped right into me. If I were a cliff like the many around here, you know I wouldn't have said anything to stop you."

Toothless looked at him in good humor. Hiccup wanted to return this very badly.

He let out a husk of a laugh. "Yeah, I- uh… my head just hurts. I guess I wasn't paying attention."

He raised his brow to the detached response. Hiccup felt insanely insecure. "Guess not?" Toothless said, "Well, what are you heading this way for anyway, _**jate**_? Don't we have a…" he seemed to be stunted on the word for a moment, "session. With Gobber tonight?"

Hiccup was confused. Didn't he tell Toothless that he didn't need to be there today?

Toothless was serious though. _Looks like I forgot that too_, Hiccup thought.

"_Oh_." Hiccup said awkwardly.

"Think you could leave the ring so soon? Sorry, little Master, you're coming with me."

Toothless swiftly stepped around Hiccup and pushed his head through his legs from behind before he could react. He was flung perfectly onto Toothless shoulders, and they began moving to where from Hiccup had came.

"Whoa!" Hiccup exclaimed.

"You're dehydrated- drink your canteen. I'll do the walking for us. I can do most of the talking too if you need." he was nonchalant, and continued, "How do you say '_**yedz**_' in Norse again? It's been bothering me all day and you've been busy."

Dehydrated? Toothless said he could _smell_ that on him when he was. It freaked Hiccup out. What else could he sense?

Hiccup sighed and made to dismount Toothless. The dragon felt this and stopped. He looked back at him confused.

"That's the word for 'blizzard', right?" Hiccup asked as he planted his feet back to the floor.

"Yes. That's it. What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry Toothless. I forgot to tell you that you didn't need to come by Gobber and Grump's session today. I took care of it and it's already over."

"Oh." Toothless considered this before he shrugged. It was a gesture that was purely human, but he had adopted it along the way. It made Hiccup smile when he would, so the boy assumed that that was the reason it became habit to the dragon.

"That's fine." Toothless said, "More time to fly, then. Just let me take you home and we can get the gear. We have time to make up after our short flight this morning."

Toothless stared at him, waiting for a enthused reply that almost always followed. They both loved the sky equally.

Hiccup couldn't manage one for a few moments, however.

His heart was beating fast, and he still couldn't get a grip on his breathing. It was only getting more desperate the longer he was talking to Toothless.

Hiccup froze and couldn't break the shell around him for a couple seconds. He felt like he was cracking his head painfully against a hard exterior that wouldn't shake. His headache escalated.

Toothless craned his head at him.

Hiccup could then _feel_ Toothless notice his turmoil. His eyes reached into his own tenderly and sensed the pain.

Hiccup had to look away.

He noticed that he hadn't been able to look at Toothless in the eyes much at all lately, and worried that he did too.

Toothless voice soothed over, into a tone that was reserved only for his human, and stepped closer. It was quiet and subtle and deep, and Hiccup was aware of the special place he had when he heard it. He knew they both had a special effect on each other.

"Is everything alright, Hiccup?" he asked. It was rich with the same loving concern that changed his entire outlook years ago. It usually curled around Hiccup like a warm, safe blanket.

The overwhelming urge to cry totally side-blinded Hiccup. He didn't know where it had come from, but it almost beat him.

Hiccup didn't want to play this game anymore. He just wanted to flood into Toothless neck and have his friend relieve him from these aches.

He really wished he could, however, Toothless had to have his reasons for not already doing this for them. He knew what was happening to them too.

They had been playing this game for weeks, and they both _had_ to know what is was about. _Toothless had to know_.

Hiccup bit back the tears and said, "Yes, I'm fine. I have to go though. Astrid invited me over for dinner, so I guess I forgot to tell you that too. I'm sorry. We'll fly right after, okay?"

Hiccup risked a glance up at him. He could see that Toothless was lost on his rider, and hurt because of it. Hiccup shifted away again, ashamed.

Hiccup patted his shoulder tenderly. It was all he could bear.

The strain in the air was palpable.

"...It's okay. Can you promise not to take too long?" Toothless asked quietly.

Hiccup knew how anxious his dragon could get without air-time. It was as fundamental to him as eating. It was a sustenance to his well-being and he depended on Hiccup for it.

Hiccup felt incredibly guilty whenever he starved him of this, even for a few hours. He was doing this a lot lately, nonetheless. They made a pact and he was violating it more and more.

"Of course, bud." Hiccup forced a smile, "We'll even fly all night if you want."

Toothless forced a smile back. "Sounds good, _**Hacspa**_."

Hiccup seemed to want to scratch him- on the neck or on his crown, which he would do so often- or do anything other than what he did, but he chose not to after he hesitated. He did nothing instead.

"I'll uh- see you soon."

He simply nodded before turning into the center of town and towards the blonde's house.

Toothless sat there, feeling hollow. He watched the only thing that mattered to him turn his back on him and try to hide the tears that threatened his dark, tired eyes.

Hiccup was explicitly avoiding him now. He smelt fear and sadness from the boy whenever he came around.

Hiccup _was afraid of him_.

No one could understand how much this tortured Toothless. They were supposed to be best friends. Toothless looked to the boy as his fire-mate.

Toothless thought life was simply a bunch of random spirals of events. There was no fate, yet there was no real sense of control. Just randomness. This was his entire past. It was the way he maneuvered through life, because it made it more bearable. And amazingly, he was endowed with limitless appreciation now. He didn't know how he got so lucky with the way his life had turned out.

He _worshipped_ this boy. He really did. And for the first time it felt like, it wasn't perfect with them.

He should never his friend feel any way that he did now. Not for a moment. It was simply wrong. How _could he feel that way at all?_

_What was he missing, _Toothless asked himself? _What was Hiccup feeling?_

_Doubt?_

Toothless had never been so worried about Hiccup. He was more anxious now than when the teen left the cove that terrible day to kill a dragon for his tribe. He was his brave resilient self that wonderful and awful day. It was different now because Hiccup wasn't even himself anymore.

Not since that damned morning with the beast. It had _really _shook him.

But there was more to it than that. What was it exactly?

He growled.

_That _damned _beast. Who dares violate _his_ human under any circumstance. How could anyone attempt to ruin something so pure. What did it matter to him._

Neither of them knew what it had really wanted. It knew things it shouldn't have though, and it _toyed_ with this ability it seemed. It toyed with their one-of-a-kind relationship, like it wanted to destroy the only genuine thing to exist. What logical purpose for this could there be other than a sick pleasure for this creature. Toothless wanted to spit at how pathetic this act was.

Regardless, since then, there was a rift between the both of them. It was undeniable.

Toothless sighed. His chest hurt. It was unnatural and he wondered if he was sick for a second. He sighed in resignation to the alien sensation. He was steeping in emotions he wasn't familiar with.

Like this fear. Like this guilt. Toothless needed to fix this.

How could he? Hiccup had learned his _old_ name from the beast.

Toothless had thought he'd smited it from existence. He was positive he'd never hear it again, and then the Ku'lvet Rueth slithered into the picture. Once it was said, it was too late. He knew Hiccup's curiosity couldn't be tamed.

Hiccup was confused, and slightly hurt. He had asked Toothless why he'd never mentioned this to him before the following morning of their trip. He asked Toothless why he had _lied_ about it.

Toothless panicked. When Hiccup pressed again the day after, he snapped on Hiccup heedlessly. He remembered the stunned look on his human's face.

The _hurt _became _heartbreak_.

Hiccup had just learned that there was distance between them he didn't know existed, and then Toothless pushed him away further when he attempted to mend it. Hiccup never felt left out of his dragon, and now he was totally shut out.

Toothless said things he deeply regretted. Hiccup saw the side of him he never had before, and he backpedaled. Too apprehensive to brush the toxicity again, he refused to reach out again himself.

Since then, Hiccup wasn't sleeping. He wasn't sure if that was all his fault, but the boy seemed to stopped trying altogether to find rest. Hiccup wouldn't open up about what was bothering him, and he gained the uncanny ability to leave in the middle of the night without disturbing anyone. This shouldn't have been possible with a Night Fury in the room, yet Toothless had been waking up to Hiccup not being there. He would find him at the blacksmith or the ring, without any semblance of rest in his stare. Only dejectedness. He wouldn't say anything about his nightly escapes. It was scaring Toothless.

Toothless didn't want to hurt the boy anymore than he had, but he didn't know what else he could do. Toothless wasn't ready for this yet. He didn't think he ever could be.

He wasn't sure what would happen if he finally revealed what was hidden to Hiccup. If he finally told him what he vowed he wouldn't. What was so important about it anyway? He didn't understand why he had to talk about it. Didn't Hiccup trust him enough to let it go? They were transparent otherwise, but Hiccup said it himself. _He trusts him enough for what he doesn't know to not hurt him._

Toothless told himself this. Deep inside, however, he knew everything was at stake.

He didn't know how long he could last like this.

He didn't know how they even made it to this point.

He wasn't sure if he was strong enough, this time.

_Poor, precious Hacspa._

The Night Fury made his way home, alone. The first snowflake of winter drifted down on Berk.

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked that! I also hope all the tangential world-building I condensed in there wasn't a turn-off. I thought it would be a good idea to get most of it out of the way before the adventure begins. I haven't wrote a extended story in a while, so I need a lot of practice. If it's a rocky start for you, I'm gonna try to be more concise from this point on.

Thank you to everyone that made it through that and is reading this. Let me ask you something now: do you enjoy the long chapter format I've been slinging out? Would any of you prefer shorter (and more frequent) chapters from me? I'm curious.

What did you think about that chapter? Would you say you love it? Would you say you hate it? Would you roll it up and smoke it? Have any ideas for what I'm gonna take this story? Please, let me know all these things and more in a review. I would super appreciate it. Have a good day now.

~ModestDragon


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